DEALING WITH A HARSH WORD

Fr Jim Cogley


It’s not true to say that ‘sticks and stones may break our bones but names can never hurt us. A child being called names can break their spirit and untruths told about us can leave deep wounds. The tendency is that when something untrue is said we defend ourselves by saying that it is not true. But why should we need to defend ourselves against a crime we never committed? The secret is to give up the need to defend ourselves because it only results in a power struggle. The one doing the bullying throws us a rope and we pick up the other end. Then we both end up tugging and exhausted. It takes two to fight but only one to stop. Allow the other to keep doing or saying whatever he or she might be saying and eventually they become entangled in the rope of their own lies. As it is happening choose to allow yourself to become more and more relaxed but never take it personally. The bully is really saying much more about himself than about you. Notice that if you do get upset it must be reflecting something negative you believe about yourself so its good to reflect on what that might be? For example if the comment is that ‘you’re stupid’ it will not cause us any hurt unless that is how we view oursel