SOUL PURPOSE

By Fr Jim Cogley

I once knew someone who, like so many in the Ireland of today, life had been good to him. He was gifted with business acumen and had found a niche market while still quite young. His steel fabrication business prospered and made him a multi-millionaire. He retired at 60 and was ready to live the dream of so many. He took his world cruise and went on several exotic holidays every year. He owned an expensive yacht, a holiday home and a top of the range car. Yet with such a full life, and all the adult toys he could wish for, he was still unfulfilled and carried an emptiness that he was reluctant to face up to or even admit. He came seeking advice because he felt so lost and he was smoking heavily. While not an alcoholic, he was drinking more than was good for him and using both nicotine and alcohol to numb his inner pain.

At one level he had succeeded in achieving everything that the world could offer in terms of finding happiness. He began to notice that the more he had accumulated externally the emptier he was feeling on the inside. The more he had gained the world, the more he was losing his soul. He was painfully aware of a vacuum within that cried out to be filled. We talked about the burden and responsibility of having wealth. How it can create a false sense of security and even become equated with one’s identity. Having more doesn’t mean to be more. I suggested that having retired so young and still with lots of energy he might consider making an investment in a project that would be more of a legacy that would outlast him, something when on his death bed his deeper self would thank him for. In other words, why not use his money and expertise to make a significant difference in the world. Perhaps create a charitable company, using his own resources initially but in a manner that would eventually become self-supportive.

I still feel a sense of deep sadness for him that he never got beyond the place of basically living for himself, spending money on himself and worrying about how he should divide the remainder of his wealth between his family, none of whom really needed it. I watched him lead a life of indulgence centered around his own family circle. Like so many he shielded his lack of generosity under the guise of having to look after his family. It wasn’t a healthy lifestyle, he never exercised, he vegetated in front of the TV and his health began to deteriorate. Even with failing health he remained in a death-defying mode. While hardly able to walk he was still planning a makeover for his house, bought himself a bigger yacht and upgraded his car to the latest model.

It was sad to see him acting as if everything was normal. Everyone who knew him could see that he was fast running out of runway while he himself seemed to be in total denial. I wasn’t with him when he passed but I suspect that he was still entrenched in denial. I also suspect that death came to him as a thief in the night rather than as a welcome visitor. Knowing him over many years I felt a deep sense of sadness over so many missed opportunities to have done something wonderful with his life. In life he was admired as a successful businessman and very wealthy but nothing of that could he bring with him. When the demand is made for our souls, it will no longer matter what we had but more what we made of ourselves. It will be who we are on the inside that alone will count. How rich we have made ourselves in the sight of God will be the only yardstick.

There is a beautiful prayer in one of the psalms. ‘Make us know the shortness of life that we may gain wisdom of heart’. Having wisdom of heart reminds us of many things, not usually of that which may seem urgent, but more of what is truly important. It reminds us of our Soul purpose, of our Soul value and of our need for continual Soul maintenance. This includes the need to offload the negative things that weigh us down like bitterness and resentments. In terms of generosity soul wisdom would teach us that we own nothing but are stewards of God’s resources and is our life like a river that keeps on giving or is it like a reservoir that only wants to receive. As we get older and experience time running out faster, a bit like a toilet roll as it comes to an end, we will question if our life was all about us, or was it part of a bigger picture?

The question many will never dare to ask is who am I? This is apart from all the things I will one day have to leave behind. We will never be able to fully answer that question but it wil guide our course and help us not lose sight of our higher purpose. As we get older my better self will review my life and critically evaluate what it is truly thankful for. It’s unlikely to be the long hours spent working, but the way I chose to relate to others and how good I made them feel. It will never regret the countless acts of kindness and generosity, the way I used my money wisely to help feed and house others. Certainly, it will never chastise me for being over generous, taking time out and doing whatever it took to discover who I am, why I am here and having had the wisdom to pursue my soul’s purpose.