Very few, if any, have all their needs met in childhood. Not many parents can give unconditional love. The need to have a sense of belonging is not always fulfilled. Security and good boundaries are often in short supply. Many homes are a hell hole of abuse and addictions. Some have had it so bad that they say ‘I don’t want to go there.’ Unfortunately to ‘not go there’ is to remain there! To refuse to revisit our painful past doesn't mean that it will disappear but rather it does mean that it will create an equally unhappy future. The past that has not been integrated has this extra-ordinary capacity to replicate itself in the present and to make our tomorrows as painful as our yesterdays.
Fr Jim Cogley