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Guilt weighs us down, and causes us to stumble and fall. It is based on the mistaken belief that by suffering and beating ourselves up over perceived wrongs we can make up for them. While it makes us live in the past it turns us into a misery for those around us and deprives them of our best self. It requires humility to forgive ourselves and start afresh. To acknowledge wrongdoing, to ask forgiveness and make amends where necessary is sufficient without the unnecessary burden of guilt.

The regrets of life also bring us down. Regrets are like a crown of thorns on our heads that sink deep causing mental anguish, and only we can remove them. While they also cause us to live in the past they also deprive us of hope for the future. It takes courage to rise ourselves from the tyranny of ‘if only’s’ and practice self-compassion. Particularly where we have regrets over someone’s death there is the sense of it being too late to do what needed to be said or done. To honor the life that has passed can never be accomplished through remorse but by a conscious decision to embrace the life that is ours and live it to the full.

When you have done all you can do you cannot regret what you did not do.

Mistakes and remakes can be just two sides of the one coin. Many of the best designs have resulted from mistakes. Life is a continuous learning curve where learning from our mistakes is the normal pattern of growth. Even when they are VILE they are still Very Interesting Learning Experiences. A fully lived life will of necessity have its quotient while a half lived life may appear to have few but by allowing fear to be in control is the worst mistake of all.

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