ARE WE BECOMING MORE CRUEL AND LESS KIND?

Fr Billy Swan

‘Man’s inhumanity to man’ is a term used to describe the dark side of human nature that shows itself in cruelty towards fellow human beings. In every period of history, there have been no shortage of examples of human cruelty. We see it during the passion of Jesus when the soldiers who scourged and crucified him descended to forms of cruelty that were commonplace and brutal. In recent history, we saw cruelty on a new scale with the terrible wars of the twentieth century. A visit to Auschwitz brings you up close to the cruelty that was meted out there to people during the Second World War. Within the Church, we also admit with shame the many examples of cruelty and a lack of kindness by some.

In recent months and weeks, this reality of human cruelty has surfaced with greater intensity here in Ireland. Hardly a week goes by without some horrific case of domestic abuse, street assaults that leave people dead or seriously injured and attacks on IPAS centres that terrify people and put lives in danger. These incidences are a source of international embarrassment, especially when tourists are robbed, beaten up and when foreign governments issue safety warnings about their citizens travelling to Ireland. These episodes also show that we have a problem with our society becoming more aggressive, more violent and more cruel.

By way of response, the first thing we need to do is to unequivocally condemn these manifestations of human cruelty that are becoming far too common. Any form of cruelty produces misery and hurt for everyone. Condemnation of cruelty means naming cruelty for what it is as a human moral failing that we need to take both individual and collective responsibility for. It must also be acknowledged that human cruelty is a moral failing that is preceded by a hatred or contempt for other human beings. And as a moral failing, it is something that can only be addressed at its roots by a deep moral conversion – seeing fellow human beings as having rights that need to be respected and finding ways to deal with challenging situations without resorting to cruel words or actions.

Here is a moral principle that is the key to responsible citizenship and social harmony for all men and women of good will. For the Christian, respect and reverence for others is a basic requirement of his or her faith commitment - to embody the love of Jesus Christ who asked us to love one another as he has loved us. We show this love in willing the good of the other and seeing other people as made in the image and likeness of God with inalienable rights that demand respect. This respect, born from love, is the opposite to cruelty and is the antidote the wave of cruelty that has arisen in our country at present.

But how can this aspiration have traction in a way that leads us becoming less cruel and more kind? A full answer is complex but we must start somewhere. Here are a few suggestions.

First, by taking a good look at ourselves within our own conscience and hearts. Are any of my attitudes, words and actions infected by cruelty? It is easy to accuse others of cruelty but is there cruelty in me? Am I capable of cruelty or have I been guilty of cruelty in the past? If I notice some degree of cruelty in my nature, what is the cause of it? Am I cruel to others because I have experienced cruelty myself? If so, how can I break the cycle and to whom do I turn for healing?

Secondly, if I live, study or work in close proximity to others, are my relationships and friendships marked by kindness?  The Catechism of the Catholic Church identifies kindness as one of the twelve fruits of the Holy Spirit. These fruits are perfections formed in believers by the Holy Spirit and are listed as charity, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, generosity, gentleness, faithfulness, modesty, self-control, and chastity (CCC 1832). The Church teaches that kindness is a manifestation of God's love and is essential for a Christian life, finding its definition in St. Paul's description of charity as being ‘patient and kind’ (1 Cor. 13:4).

The institutions of the family and the school are key settings where a culture of kindness can be nourished. Parents have an essential role as educators and formators of their children in the ways of kindness and to dissuade them from any form of aggression and cruelty towards others, especially those in situations of conflict or dispute. The ‘Bí Cineálta’ programme published by the Irish Government in June 2024 to address and prevent bullying in primary and post-primary schools is a welcome step in helping create a culture of kindness and also help students take responsibility for such as culture within the school.

So too sporting clubs have a key role in setting standards of what is acceptable and what is not regarding any form of cruelty and lack of respect in competitive sport.

This takes us to the wider social and cultural arenas in cities, towns, villages and neighbourhoods across Ireland where people interact and live. In a plural Ireland as we have now, there will always be moments of tension, uncertainties, problems and differences wherever human beings interact and encounter each other. But unless we collectively and intentionally return to the value and importance of kindness as the antidote to cruelty then the terrible examples of cruelty that we have seen in recent months will repeated over and over again.

A worrying development I see emerging is that we are becoming de-sensitised to case after case of cruelty – from another man killed after an assault to another women killed in a domestic violence incident, to an incident of robbery of an elderly person or violence against vulnerable people living away from home. The details of the cases of these people is one thing. But another is our moral obligation to treat them justly but always humanely and never cruelly.

Finally, the reality of cruelty in our culture is a call to all Christians to become leaders in creating this culture of kindness. It is a necessary wake-up call to the Church to find its voice and to evangelise the culture in a way that transforms it. This is not mean some vague or shallow invitation to be nice and get along with everyone as best we can. Rather it is  call to protect the dignity of everyone and to challenge and eliminate forms of cruelty wherever they are found.

To conclude. I love this country as I am sure you do too. We have travelled far and achieved so much. But we have a problem. This reflection is born from what I can see and hear – that we are tearing ourselves apart with cruelty that we are becoming immune to. This must not happen, but it will if we let it. The kindness that unites us is not something we can take for granted anymore. We need to re-commit to it individually and collectively again. This call to be less cruel and more kind is an appeal to every human conscience to help create a culture and a society that is less aggressive, violent and one that is a happier and safer place for everyone to live.