ASPECTS OF GIVING

Fr Jim Cogley

The practice of giving, especially in relation to money is not always what it appears. On one hand there are those who will likely be appalled when they get to the other side as to how little they gave in life and how all the excuses they made for not giving were only a cover up for meanness. Some who prided themselves on owning many properties may never have put a single roof over anyone’s head. On the other hand, are those who give for all the wrong motives; perhaps to appear generous, to appease guilt feelings or even out of resentment. A common reason is to give with the hope of receiving something in return. The Bible says that God loves a cheerful giver. Perhaps that word ‘cheerful’ provides a clue as to the nature of authentic giving. It is in the very nature of love to bring joy and pleasure in all that it gives and not to expect anything in return.

There are so many good souls, some in religious life, who give and have given their entire life in the service of those in need. Most would claim that love for God was their chief motivation. For this love many were prepared to sacrifice everything. They were prepared to forego personal comforts, happiness and even a home and family. With some their motto was, ‘to give until it hurts.’ Yet herein lies an unhealthy extreme because to give to the extent of making oneself miserable can only serve to breed resentment towards those in need. Some are even compulsive givers, but this is what keeps them afloat and gives them meaning in life. They need to be needed, and it is in the meeting of others needs that they find their identity. Knowing when to give and when to hold back demands wisdom and a useful question to ask is, ‘Whose need am I meeting – theirs or mine?’

A piece towards the end of the Gospel of St John captures the essence of pure giving. As part of the Passover Meal Christ washes the feet of his disciples. This would have appeared quite shocking since it was a task reserved for slaves. Next there is a detail that we can so easily overlook, where he took a towel and dried their feet. This meant that he was leaving no trace of the service he had just rendered or was he leaving behind any sense of obligation to be repaid. The underlying motives for our giving that we thought were so pure comes out in statements like, ‘After all I did for him/her, and this is how they treat me.’ Or ‘you would think that having been there for them in their time of need they would at least acknowledge what has happened to me.’

Shortly after Ordination 45 years ago I was given a temporary appointment. The weekly income was a meager forty euro out of which all expenses for food and travel had to be paid. Over six months I managed to save four hundred as a deposit on a car. Someone came to my door in dire need of 400euro. Taking a few moments to consider the matter I opened the Bible at random to read, give to the one who asks and don’t ask for anything in return.’ It wasn’t exactly what I wanted to read, but the message could not have been clearer. So, I gave the person what was needed. Amazingly before the week was out a cheque for 800 euro arrived in the post from a source that was completely unexpected. It was a profound lesson that bore out the truth of the Scripture, ‘Give and it will be given onto you, full measure, pressed down and brimming over will be poured into your lap.