FINDING PEACE

Fr Jim Cogley

Almost everyone can find some excuse for not being at peace, some worry or trouble, a problem or fear, someone or something that’s a bother to us. Really the list is endless. If I am concerned about something or someone and I can help the situation in some way, then I have an obligation to do whatever is within my power. After that I can only acknowledge my powerlessness and hand the situation over the Lord and let it go. If I have released it, then I simply trust and if I am still holding on, I experience worry. So, the phrase I continually remind myself of in relation to anything that I have handed over is, ‘It’s no longer any of my business’. If it’s God’s business, then it’s not mine so I have to learn to butt out. A simple method of doing just that I would like to share.

Any situation or problem that we have let go of will undoubtedly come back to annoy us, so how can we deal with this? I may have handed it over, but my ego is still strong enough to take it back and want to resume control. Here it’s useful not just to surrender something but to also let go of my tendency to take it back and simply trust that it will be held. In the meantime, focus only of a positive answer. It’s now part of the divine plan that unfolds only according to the laws of love. Let yourself become detached from the outcome as to how and when your prayer will be answered. That place of holy indifference is also the very best place for the Lord to surprise us with his answers. Also, remember that the Lord is the everlasting rock and he will keep in his perfect peace those whose minds are stayed on him.

So often there is some individual in our lives who has an annoying habit of getting under our skin. There’s something about him or her that just gets to us. Generally what gets to us is already within us, but we don’t yet recognize it as ours. This is called projection. The problem appears to be out there while it is really within. The unpalatable truth is that if I see it, I have got it, and it's not about the other needing to change but more about me recognizing this as part of my shadow that I need to recognize and befriend. Until I see it for myself, I will hold the higher moral ground in judgment on the other. When I do I no longer stand above but under, and my understanding gives way to compassion and tolerance. This does not mean that the other is free of faults but now its theirs to deal with and no longer able to press my buttons.

Just because we choose to deny something doesn’t make it go away or that it’s not there. Very often, the Lord has to knock really loud in order for us to hear some fundamental truth about ourselves that we have spent years or a lifetime resisting and denying. If we have the courage to reflect on how often we admit to being wrong and how we react to feedback and even criticism this will give us some vital clues as to just how resistant to truth we might be. Do I say, ‘thank you very much, I find that difficult but appreciate what you say’, or do I immediately become defensive and snap the nose off the one who is the truth speaker?  Do I turn the tables and make them feel in the wrong? Do I get emotional and turn on the tears.? Do I send them away with a sense of having been heard or with a sense of ‘I have wasted my time; he or she can’t be told?’ For those who know us best this will always have been obvious but until we are ready to hear our unpalatable truth no one can tell us and so we just continue to suffer until pain eventually breaks through our wall of ego defense and exposes our deepest layer of vulnerability – for many this journey to freedom and prosperity is a long and difficult road.