HENRI NOUWEN

Fr Jim Cogley

Some years ago, the well-known priest and author Henri Nouwen who died quite young had the opportunity of meeting Mother Theresa. It was during a particularly difficult period in his life and struggling with many issues, he decided to use the occasion to ask her advice. He sat down and started explaining all his problems and difficulties – trying to convince her of how complicated it all was. Then after ten minutes of elaborate explanation, he finally became silent. Mother Theresa quietly looked at him and said, ‘well when you spend one hour a day in the presence of your Lord and never do anything which you know to be wrong…….you will be fine.

Mother Theresa’ answer was not what he had been expecting but suddenly he realized that in those few simple words she had punctured his big balloon of complex self-complaints and pointed him far beyond himself to the place of real healing. In fact, she had so stunned him by her answer that he had no desire or need to continue the conversation. There were other people waiting so he thanked her and left the room. Those unexpected words remained engraved on his heart for the rest of his life. Their directness and simplicity had cut through to the core of his being. He knew she had spoken the truth he most needed to hear and he had the rest of his life to live it.

Later Henri reflected on his brief but decisive encounter. He realized that he had raised a question from below and she had answered it from above. At first her answer didn’t seem to fit any question but slowly he began to see that her answer had come from God’s place and not the place of his complaints. Most of the time we respond to questions from below with answers from below. The result is usually more questions and more answers and often more confusion. For Henri, Mother Theresa’s words were like a flash of lightning that suddenly revealed the truth about himself.

As a young and inexperienced priest, I once met a religious sister who had seriously lost her way and her life seemed a total mess. She felt pulled in so many directions and yet was going nowhere. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I heard a scripture verse that I shared with her. It was, ‘Seek first the Kingdom of God and everything else will be given you besides’ or in other words everything will begin to fall into place. It was really an invitation to get her priorities right, to reflect on her vocation, what her life was about and rediscover her purpose. She was a lady who like so many of us badly needed to be distracted from her distractions. Two years later I met her again and with beaming face she thanked me for that advice saying that it was exactly the right word at the right time and had completely transformed her life.

To seek first the Kingdom and to distract ourselves from our distractions seems easy but how do we do it, especially if we find ourselves prone to worry and anxiety. When our heads are buzzing our thoughts go round in circles. We do need to cultivate some space for quiet where our heads can come home to our hearts. It’s only from the heart space that we can truly pray. It is from that space that we can practice the art of surrender and letting go of all that is bothering us. However, what we usually find that no sooner have we handed over something us and enjoy a few moments of respite that it doesn’t last. We take it back and try to control the situation yet again. This is a classic case of how the ego trips us up and always tries to regain control. Here a useful exercise is to not just surrender the issue but also my innate tendency to take it back. The basis of this prayer is, ‘here Lord this is yours, but it is also yours to hold and so my job is to keep my mind on you.

It is a myth to think that we can lead a spiritual life alone. The life of the Spirit is like a seed that needs fertile soil to grow, and this involves both an inner disposition and a supportive milieu. The latter is becoming increasingly difficult to find as the tide of secularism continues to claim ground. To set our heart on the Kingdom when all our associates have their hearts set on everything, but the Kingdom is a superhuman task. To be serious about living a spiritual life is also to be responsible for the milieu where it can grow and mature. We may have more options than we claim for ourselves. We can choose friends, books, churches that are alive, podcasts, art, music, places to visit and like-minded people to be with that taken together offer a milieu that allows the mustard seed that God has sown in us to grow into a strong tree. Whatever it takes is worth it and really is a soul investment in eternity.