JESUS CHRIST – THE PERFECT ROLE MODEL FOR YOUNG MEN

Fr Billy Swan

The four-part Netflix drama ‘Adolescence’ caused quite a stir recently – so much so that it was debated in the House of Commons and regarded by the Tanaiste as 'essential viewing'.

It is about a thirteen-year-old boy who is accused of murdering a school-girl and classmate his own age. The film explores the sources of influence that turned a normal teenager, a son of loving parents with a stable family, into a misogynistic killer. Although fictitious, ‘Adolescence’ has re-ignited the debate about a brand of toxic masculinity that young men are being increasingly exposed and attracted to. This brand of masculinity is being pushed by influencers found online who have millions of followers on social media. They radicalize young men and form them in attitudes that are based on the radical assertion of one’s will, are often disrespectful to women leading to unequal relationships, and even to violence and abuse.  These attitudes form part of what is known generally as the ‘manosphere’ movement that is a varied collection of websites, blogs, and online forums promoting assertive masculinity, misogyny, and opposition to feminism.

Many parents are rightly concerned about these influences on their sons, despite their best efforts to counter them. That is why the drama ‘Adolescence’ touched a nerve because it raises the broader issue of virtue, values and the type of men parents want they sons to become and that they want to become.

The question of masculinity is of growing concern to parents but also to schools. One of my pastoral responsibilities as a priest is part-time chaplain to St Peter’s College Secondary School here in Wexford with over 800 young boys. Like all the teachers and staff, I am acutely conscious of their adolescent years lived in our school and the challenge of growing up to become wholesome, responsible and mature young men. Yet, I am also aware that this challenge isn’t easy. There are many voices that compete for young men’s attention as they navigate the path of becoming a man and what that looks like.

Many of these voices from the ‘manosphere’ movement have strong messages but are morally questionable with the call to maturity and responsibility relegated in favour of being ‘macho’, asserting oneself and appearing tough and unemotional. But have these influencers the good of the young men at heart or are they promoting a self-serving ideology?

This question came to my mind as I recalled the convictions of Irish revolutionary Padraig Pearse with his sharp critique of the education system at his time under British rule which he entitled ‘The Murder Machine’. In this work, Pearse said that ‘education is as much concerned with souls as religion is. Religion is a way of life and education is a preparation of the soul to live its life here and hereafter; to live it nobly and fully’ (P. Pearse, ‘The Murder Machine’, in The Coming Revolution: The Political Writings and Speeches of Padraig Pearse, Mercier Press, Cork, 2012, p. 27. For Pearse, this nobility of soul was a key requirement for a healthy nation whose citizens were summoned to become patriots and saints.

Similarly, with C.S. Lewis and his classical work ‘The Abolition of Man’ published in 1943. In the mid-twentieth century, Lewis began to question an emerging form of education that was moving away from a classical model that extend as far back as Aristotle in the fourth century BC. The famous Greek philosopher insisted that the aim of education is to make the pupil like or dislike what they ought. In other words, for the sacred task of rearing and educating children and the formation of young people into adults, the pursuit of objective value and truth was critical in training them towards maturity and social responsibility. In modern times, the subjective choice of the individual is becoming increasingly dominant, influenced by ideas and voices that urge people to assert themselves and for the freedom to choose who we want to be. In the words of C.S. Lewis: ‘The old was a kind of propagation – men transmitting manhood to men; the new is merely propaganda’ (The Abolition of Man).

If we are convinced of the value of propagation over propaganda, then positive male role models are needed in the lives of young people, especially for young men. Here I re-propose the example of Jesus Christ as a role model for a healthy masculinity. I suggest that Christ remains not just an exterior example of a healthy masculinity but through the Church, he offers us his Spirit to form that essential character within young men. Here are a few reasons how.

From the outset of his public ministry, Jesus proactively sought out and encountered people, calling them by name and inviting them to know him. He summoned them on an epic adventure to follow him, to become like him and participate in his mission. Being rugged fishermen, he promised the apostles he would make them ‘fishers of people’. Even from these first details in the Gospels, there is much to unpack beginning with the call of the Apostles into relationship and forming them into community. While much of the manosphere movement is based on the self and assertion of the self, Christ teaches us that only in relationship can we discover our authentic and true selves. Being wrapped up in our own egos leads to loneliness, anger and a lack of true intimacy that withers the soul.

The first community of Jesus’ followers also included women. Men and women shared a common life as disciples of Jesus where the complementarity between the sexes was embodied by mutual respect in the spirit of the Gospel. In contrast to toxic masculinity and radical feminism, the truth is always kept in view that men and women need each other. As we see in the story of the woman caught in adultery in the Gospel of John, Jesus called out any abuse of power and violence by men against women as he saved and forgave the vulnerable woman in the Gospel account.

Jesus also communicates to men, as he did to the Apostles, that they are needed. Unemployment weights heavy on the natural instinct of every man to work, contribute and participate whether in the life of the Church or in society. As he approached his first disciples, they were left in no doubt of his message: ‘I need you. Follow me’. Here is a powerful message to all men and indeed women today – ‘you are loved, wanted, chosen and needed’.

Jesus’ call to ‘follow me’ is a call to adventure, to service, to taking a risk and trusting to where the call of Christ leads us. It is a call that requires nothing less than everything. It is therefore dangerous and requires courage, which is one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. In the words of St Paul to Timothy: ‘The spirit God has given us is no cowardly spirit but rather one that makes us strong loving and wise’ (2 Tim. 1:7). Here is the Gospel call to courage that attracts men more than a softer and safer option.

To be a disciple of Jesus Christ is to live a life of discipline and sacrifice - putting others and your mission before yourself. Everyone involved in competitive sport knows that in order to improve and take it seriously, discipline is essential. So it goes with being a disciple of Christ. The book of Proverbs warns that ‘he dies for lack of discipline’ (Prov. 5:23) and so it goes. Building one’s life around comfort and the path of least resistance leads to deep unhappiness and boredom. In thew words of the late Pope Benedict XVI: ‘We are not made for comfort but for greatness’. St Paul puts it this way as he calls people to leadership in the early Christian community. He calls them to be ‘hospitable, a lover of goodness, master of oneself, upright, holy and self-controlled’ (Titus 1:8).

I believe that this call to a heroic and magnanimous life is more attractive to young men seeking meaning and purpose in life.

Somewhere in the male instinct is the desire to live a heroic life, to give everything and to suffer for that if necessary. This is the kind of life that Jesus himself lived and that attracts us to do the same. We might not be crucified and suffer the awful death that Christ did but living a noble life will require resilience, discipline, and a willingness to suffer for what is true and right.

For the early disciples, Jesus provided clarity about who they were (beloved children of God), who they were called to be (salt of the earth and light of the world,) what they stood for (justice, truth, mercy and love), what they were against (evil, darkness, sin, ugliness and exclusion), what they were called to protect (life, human dignity, unity) and what their mission was (to make disciples of all nations). Again, here is a clarity that is attractive and yet is lacking in many alternative secular visions today.

Another quality of masculinity that the Christian life offers is freedom. At a time when many men succumb to slavery through addictions, the call of Christ is a call to freedom, to become ones’ true self and not to live in dependence on things or substances that don’t deliver the joy for which we long. This is the spirituality of the very popular men’s App ‘Exodus 90’ that helps men to become ‘uncommonly free’. The freedom that the Gospel promises is not a license to do as one pleases but the freedom to choose the good, to serve the good and to have a compact center of control within oneself, held intact by God’s saving grace.

To be a Christian today is to be a rebel. As our society becomes more secular, Christianity is a radical choice to rebel against a certain way of living and to deliberately choose another. When I was growing up in school forty years ago, religion and the Church were very much the establishment. Being a rebel back then meant rebelling against religion and the Church. Now the tide has turned. Being Christian today is becoming part of a prophetic minority that rebels against relativism, selfishness, and a slavish conformity to ideas and ideologies that often lack scientific bases and common sense. That is why Nicky Gumbel, founder of the Alpha programme for evangelization, has suggested that committed Christianity is the new rebellion of our age. Again, this call to rebel and to be different is attractive to men who are often absorbed into a culture that takes them down pathways of conformity to the expectations and ideas of others. Again, this call to rebellion is attractive to the male psyche – not to rebel for the sake of it but being pressed into action to guard, protect and fight for what is good, true and just.

Finally, in contrast to a toxic masculinity that seeks to assert itself and dominate, the masculinity Jesus models is one that is open to challenge and welcomes it. Time and time again, the disciples needed to be corrected by Jesus, especially when it came to worldly understanding of power of prestige. He warned us not to ‘Lord it over’ others but to be humble and to serve. The Gospel call is one to maturity, conversion and repentance which assumes a recognition of our need to be saved, to mature and grow. Paul was aware of this process when he urged the Christians in Ephesus to ‘attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature person, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ’ (Eph. 4:13).

Here is a call away from the radical assertion of one’s will to a life conformed to love and God’s will. It is a call to a holistic maturity – affective, spiritual, intellectual and emotional. This maturity is what Jesus meant when he said to Peter: ‘When you were young you put on your own belt and walked where you liked; but when you grow old you will stretch out your hands  and someone else will put on a belt around you  and take you where you would rather not go’ (John 21:18). This is what discipleship looks like – that we don’t follow the path we choose for ourselves but the one where the Lord leads us with the invitation to ‘follow me’.

To conclude. There is much evidence to suggest that a brand of toxic masculinity is negatively influencing young men today. To counter this, the presence in young men’s lives of masculine role models is crucial. One role model of a healthy masculinity is the person of Jesus Christ who shows us how to be human and gives us his Spirit to be the best we can be. This is not to say that Jesus is not a role model for women or that any of the points made above are exclusive to men. Rather we recognize the fact that Jesus was a man and while men and women need each other, there are differences in nature between male and female that God’s grace builds on. I hope this article helps us to become braver and more convinced in proclaiming Jesus Christ as a role model for all young men to emulate and look up to.