In the Gospel this weekend, Jesus reminds us that the call to follow him is radical and costly. He doesn’t want some of us but all of us. One person who knew this was Sr Clare Crockett, a young nun from Derry who was killed during and earthquake while serving as a missionary in Ecuador on 16th April 2016. Below is the story of her life and a reflection by her of her struggle to let go and let God.
“Sometimes it’s easy to say, ‘Yes! I want Christ to enter in me.’ But this doesn’t occur in five minutes. You can’t just go in front of the Tabernacle and say, ‘Now!’ and it’s done and over with. And He’s there inside you. In my experience, it’s a fairly painful process. In order for Christ to live in me, in order for Him to dwell inside and take complete possession of my soul, He has to step on and crush the serpent, the old nature, my ego of Clare Crockett. This hurts a lot, a lot; sometimes, a ton. He has to ‘get rid of’ everything that isn’t Him—and there’s a lot, by the way! And sometimes my despicable self runs after things that He is trying to rid my soul of: my will, my likes, my attachments, my ideas, my plans… and that hurts, even though I know it’s for my own good. It stings! It doesn’t mean that when I say, ‘Let me die so you can live!’, I’m just kidding! No! I’m serious when I say it, but please give me your strength, your grace, your love, your saints, your mother, your heart… so I can lose all fear. So I can ‘open wide the doors’ to you.”
From Kristen Gardner, Sr. Clare Crockett: Alone with Christ Alone