SIGHT AND INSIGHT

Fr Jim Cogley

For those of us who are in our 70’s, whether we like it or not we have less life ahead of us than behind and are not going to die young. It’s the autumn time of life that is conducive to some mature reflection on what the years have taught us and particularly what are the key pieces of wisdom that have underpinned our journey. The ancient philosopher Socrates said that ‘the unreflected life is not worth living’ and without reflection we simply accumulate experiences, be they painful or otherwise, but fail to grow in wisdom. So, while we have the saying that ‘Wisdom comes with age’, the reality is that so often age just comes on its own! There are many who have lived a rich and varied life, may have suffered a lot, but who for some reason lack depth and still quite superficial. Their sight may still be okay, but they sadly lack insight.

Reflecting on my own journey one key point of awareness was when I realized how important it was to be in right relationship with myself; that my relationship with myself forms the basis of all other relationships and that I could never be closer to another than I am to myself. From conception to eternity my one travelling companion was always going to be myself and no matter where I might travel to get away from myself the first person waiting for me there would be me. Prior to acquiring this insight, while I would have been generous with others, I would have been ‘stingy’ with giving myself the alms of my own approval or even kindness.  At times I was like two people living in the same room but not seeing eye to eye. That inner division sapped my energy and generated a sense of loneliness. Now I understand loneliness not in relation to the absence of someone in my life but more to missing myself.

There are certain core beliefs, all based on faith, that are essential to living with a sense of meaning and purpose:

That God has not created me for nothing, and my life can make a difference.

That I have a destiny and purpose and something to offer that is unique.

That even my mistakes and wrong turns can ultimately serve the Divine purpose.

That my life is about so much more than myself.

That I have a responsibility to get out of my own way.

That I have all the resources and talent that I need to fulfill my purpose.

That with trust my purpose can be revealed.

That surrender and letting go is the key to a fuller life.

The kind of God that I believe in will exercise a profound influence on the degree that I can let go, surrender my life, and trust in the unfolding of divine providence. To believe that God desires my happiness and well-being more than I want it for myself makes letting go much easier. To hold an image of a punishing God is to be held back from surrender by a fear of what might be asked of me and being punished if I fail to live up those demands. To believe that God in His love wants only the best means that there is nothing to fear and that on the other side of surrender lies only love, mercy and acceptance. The belief that God’s will is totally in accordance with my higher self (but not always with my small ego self) makes a ‘Yes’ to His will a profound ‘Yes’ to who I really am. What this means is that in His will, and there alone, can I find my true life.

Life can seem very complex, and our lives can become ever busier and more complicated. If we were to bring it down to one single principle; a commitment to simply doing the will of God, would it not immediately become simplified. Having a single focus awakens the truth expressed in the Beatitudes that ‘the (single-minded) pure in heart will see God.’ This may not be after we pass over but a deep awareness of God at work in our lives and in all things. The determination to put the will of God first allows for divine orchestration to come into play whereby what is the divine becomes clear, bringing us ever more into alignment with it and minimizing conflicts of interest where we never need to be in two places at the one time. Christ said that his satisfaction came from doing the will of his Father. Can there be any greater satisfaction or fulfillment for us either?

It is as we get older there is a growing realization of ‘what doesn’t do it for us anymore.’  By this I mean we become more aware that things that once meant a lot to us no longer bring the same level of fulfillment or satisfaction. There was a time when to be successful may have been a goal or to achieve certain degree of wealth; the opinion of others may have mattered a lot or to travel and see faraway places. Now I have come to realize that all these things while good in themselves invariably fail to deliver what they promise. In the words of Ecclesiastes, ‘The eye is not filled with seeing nor is the ear filled with hearing’. It becomes ever more clear that peace and contentment come from deep within and are not dependent on outside ‘happenings. An inner joy begins to erupt with the awareness that my life makes sense when I begin to live it from the ‘inside out’ and no longer from the ‘outside in’ as was the case for most of my earlier years.