VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN

Fr Billy Swan

The Gospel encounter between Jesus and the woman brought to him by a mob ready to kill her by stoning, raises an issue of our time that is disturbing - namely that of violence against women. Here I re-post an article on the topic that was published in February's edition of 'The Furrow'.

In August last year, a young Maltese woman named Nicolette Ghirxi, was murdered by her former Irish boyfriend. In the homily at her funeral Mass, the celebrant Fr Anton D’Amato said: “We live in a violent society. We have become so accustomed to violence that we do not take action and turn a blind eye…We must fight with action, not lip service…Do not give up, give each other hope”.[1]

The courage of Fr D’Amato to speak out after the murder of this woman is the inspiration behind this article that adds its voice to the condemnation of violence against women but also to probe the root causes of that violence in the first place. As Fr D’Amato said, condemnation is not enough. Action and attitude changes are essential.

A Problem Getting Worse

Here in Ireland, the scourge of violence against women is getting worse. Nicolette Ghirxi’s murder was another of a litany of violent attacks against women by Irish men in recent months that we hear about in the news and the tragic cases that are coming through the courts.

In a speech to the Dail in November 2023, then Taoiseach Leo Varadkar said in that Ireland is facing “an epidemic of violence against women, gender-based violence and femicide in particular”. Sadly, these fears are based on solid evidence. In a study carried out by the Office of the State Pathologist (OSP), it shows that homicides of women and girls rose from 19% between 2012 and 2020 to 29% from 2021 to 2023. The death toll for women killed in violent circumstances in 2022 was the highest in ten years with 15 Irish women killed on the island and one Irish woman in London. Among them was the tragic death of Aisling Murphy in Tullamore in January 2022, a case that generated a public outcry.

In the same Dail speech, Leo Varadkar called the protection of women a “major priority” for the Irish government with further investment promised in Refuge Shelters, counselling for victims, supports and helplines along with advertisement appeals for victims to come forward and not to suffer in silence or alone. There was also new legislation for tougher sentences for perpetrators of violence against women. All this is good. But are there ways we can stop violence happening in the first place? What are the roots causes? Are there fundamental attitudes and behaviours that need to change that allow violence against women to be accepted and remain unchallenged? Here I offer five suggestions that will help alleviate the terrible problem of violence in general and violence against women in particular. In doing so, I employ the powerful Gospel story of Jesus’ intervention in the eighth chapter of John’s Gospel as a woman was about to be stoned and how his words and actions saved a woman’s life that day.[2]

We Must Never Tire Proclaiming and Denouncing

The Compendium of the Social Doctrine of the Church states that: “The Church’s social teaching has the task of proclamation but also denunciation”.[3] To proclaim the resurrection of Christ and the Easter hope that flows from it, has always been and will remain the first task entrusted to the Church. Her mission is to announce something that is true without compromise or fear. This is not just an abstract message but one that has radical consequences for our view of humanity and human affairs in their totality. The Gospel offers not only meaning, value and criteria of judgment but also the norms and directives of action that arise from these criteria. In other words, the Gospel’s power appeals to, guides, forms and sometimes challenges the human conscience – the seedbed from which human words and actions arise.

Therefore, when it comes to women and their protection, the Church must never tire of proclaiming their dignity, rights and the duty of all in society to respect them and indeed all human beings. We must keep on message that every human being has an innate dignity and sacred value in and of themselves – a value that needs to be acknowledged and safe-guarded by law and inculcated in all people, young and old in the home, schools, parishes and places of work.

The other half of the task to proclaim is to simultaneously denounce every form of sin, injustice and violence that exists and wherever it is found. By denunciation, we become defenders of unrecognised and violated rights, especially those of the poor and most vulnerable. That is why the Church must never hesitate to denounce her own failings in the past including her ambiguous relationship with violence that was tolerated in schools as a form of punishment – as was laid bare in last year’s ‘Scoping Report’ into abuse at Religious run schools. Government policy, Church teaching, ethos statements in schools, dignity in the workplace policies and other directives in society must all unite in a clear unambiguous message that any form of violence against another human being is unacceptable and must be condemned. The constant proclamation of the dignity and rights of all and the condemnation of their violation is not just repetitive rhetoric – it is a force that shapes culture.

Stop Abusing Power:

In the Gospel account of the mob ready to stone a woman, Jesus’ words: “Let the one who has never sinned be the one to cast the first stone”, lead to each man who was prepared to inflict violence on this woman, dropping their weapons and walking away. Jesus knew that all of these men had sinned and with a touch of genius, took away their assumed power over the vulnerable and humiliated woman.

Many violent acts against women are often inflicted by a man who is known by his victim. Many of these victims are the partners or wives of those who injure them or kill them. We see this with domestic violence. We saw it in the case of Nicolette Ghirxi who was killed by her former boyfriend. Prior to the outbreak of violence against them, the relationship between the two parties is often marked by inequality of power. One has control over the other, is manipulated, coerced and where this imbalance of power is abused, violence breaks out. In fact, violence can be a more severe form of expression of a relationship that has become corrupt because of an abuse of power. Other forms of expression of this abuse of power can be put-downs, emotional abuse and sexual abuse.

The education of parents of their children at home, SPHE classes, codes of behaviour, RE classes at school and the ongoing formation of adults in parishes and society, need to unite in their unequivocal message that though distinct, we are equal partners in dignity. And although hierarchies and authorities do exist, they are in place to serve and never to dominate or lord it over another for the aggrandizement of another’s ego. Therefore, on the frontline of tackling violence against women is to train young people and re-educate ourselves in the art of mutual respect for another’s life, person, feelings, sexuality, desires, health and boundaries. It is also a key strategy of helping victims and potential victims to recognize the dynamics of a relationship that has become abusive where the other party’s freedom is compromised by another’s control.

Stop Objectifying Women:

A huge issue today in the growth, education and development of young people is the accessibility of pornography and its harmful effects on relationships. Solid research increasingly shows the negative effects of porn and that there is no such thing as “ethical porn”. But it’s not just young people who are affected. Many adult relationships are being negatively affected too. One of the many damaging effects of pornography is that is objectifies people, especially women. In the dopamine rush, consumers of porn become blind to the fact that the woman involved in a porn shoot, is at huge risk of exploitation from the industry that is driven by profit. They fail to consider how she may have been trafficked and could be doing this against her will or because she desperately needs money for herself and her family. In sum, women are objectified in a way that feeds the industry which increases the risk of more women being abused. In the words of Maria Maynes:

“If we are truly serious about ending violence against women we need to talk about culture and the key part of that is pornography. Yet I fear we are so determined to create a morality-free liberal utopia where just about anything goes in the name of sexual gratification that this conversation will be off-limits”.[4]

In the Gospel story, the men armed with stones objectified a woman too. To them she was a sinner whose whole life was blighted by what they accused her of. Jesus stopped this terrible objectification in its tracks before it resulted in her death. So too with all of us in Church and society. Christ urges us to serve people as an expression of loving them. He asks us never to objectify people, to use people for our own selfish purposes or to see another as a means-to-an-end. He teaches us to see the value and integral dignity of everyone’s life and to see beyond what he or she might do for us or how they can be advantageous for us. The Gospel is the antidote to the objectification of people which can and does lead to violence, often against women.

Dealing with Anger:

The mob who was ready to stone the woman were full of anger. Their anger was like a fuel or energy that was about to unleashed in violent death. With his words, Jesus turned back their anger on themselves and one by one, their dropped their weapons of violence and walked away.

We all know what it is like to be angry. We get angry for different reasons. Many of these reasons are righteous. Feeling angry is like an inbuilt mechanism we have that leads us to address a situation of injustice and correct it. However, sometimes the source of our anger is misplaced and arises from something dysfunctional within us. It might have to do with our low self-esteem, stress, thinking others are better than us, jealousy or our own insecurity. A little humility can turn anger into the repentance we need in order to change.

We all need to work together to help each other deal with anger issues. We need to help each other harness righteous anger into creative and effective ways of how we can make things better. We also need to help each other deal with anger in ways other than violent expression. Here we think of honest and good communication, listening to each other and understanding what gives rise to the anger we experience and how it can be addressed. There are many ways of dealing with anger but the least effective way and most destructive way is to express our anger with violence. It is here that the Gospel of Christ shows the importance of forgiveness, reconciliation and healing. It gives us both the example and the tools to deal with the experience of anger that we all know. Again, families, schools, parishes, sports clubs and social groups are called to work together and help people to find appropriate and just ways of expressing anger and how inflicting verbal, emotional or sexual violence on another is never acceptable.

Dealing with Rejection:

The final point of this article concerns dealing with rejection. Many women have lost their lives or have suffered when they indicated that they wanted to end a relationship. The reaction of those who felt rejected often resulted in tragedy where violence erupted – against the woman herself or tragically for the man who can’t cope with rejection, falls into despair and takes his own life.

We need to help each other and especially our young people, to deal with rejection and failure that will inevitably come their way. Life doesn’t always go as we plan and there are moments in everyone’s life of failure and disappointment. We also have friendships and relationships that don’t last forever without anyone being to blame. Sometimes romantic relationships don’t last either and when one party declares their desire to end the relationship, that can be painful to accept for the other. However, accepting this also acknowledges the risk of the other party feeling wounded and rejected which can lead to feelings of rage, anger, jealously and expressions of violence. This can be born of people’s insecurity but also of the painful feeling of rejection that can scar them for life. People need support when this happens.

The Gospel story is also about rejection – of the woman by the mob but also of acceptance – of the woman by Christ who loved her and forgave her. The Gospel message is transforming because it tells us that our worth does not depend on us being accepted or rejected by others. No matter how much failure or rejection we experience, there is always a place in the Father’s heart for everyone to which we can return over and over again. This is not just a pious religious sentiment but a life-changing truth that sets us free from every form of servitude and allows others to be free as well. It is the DNA of love to be free. It must be. Otherwise, it isn’t love. We all must unite to be Good Samaritans, Good Shepherds and good friends to people who have suffered broken relationships and who experience the pain of rejection. By our compassion we slowly build up their self-worth and remind them that they are lovable for themselves and that although painful in the short term, there is hope for everyone after the storm has passed.

Conclusion:

In October 2023, in a message to an Italian campaign combatting violence against women, Pope Francis said: “Violence against women is a poisonous weed that plagues our society and must be pulled up from its roots… It is necessary to act immediately, at all levels, with determination, urgency and courage”.[5] If all of us can take some responsibility for this dream then the points made above will hopefully reduce the tragic statistics of women who suffer from violence and even death in our country. To recap - that we consistently proclaim the dignity of all human beings including women and be more vocal and consistent in our condemnation of cases where that dignity is violated; that we re-evaluate our use and abuse of power – never to lord it over anyone or control their lives but to serve the people we are responsible for; that we stop objectifying women by saying a clear ‘NO’ to pornography and other infections in our culture that divorce a woman’s sexuality from her life, soul, feelings, circumstances, right to love and security; that we help each other, particularly men, how to deal with anger in ways other than violence; finally, that we help each other deal with feelings of rejection that can and have lead to violence and tragedy.

At Nicolette Ghirxi’s funeral Mass, Fr Anton D’Amato said: “We must fight with action, not lip service…Do not give up, give each other hope”. I hope this article has done just that.

[1] The Irish Daily Star, 19th August 2024.

[2] John 8:1-11.

[3] Compendium of the Social Doctrine of the Church, 81.

[4] M. Maynes, Pornography, Drug Abuse and Ireland’s Growing Femicide Problem, GRIPT Media, 20th December 2024. https://gript.ie/pornography-drug-use-and-irelands-growing-femicide-problem/

[5] Pope Francis, Message to the National Campaign Against Violence Against Women, 27th Oct. 2023.