'WHAT FORGIVENESS IS NOT'

Fr Jim Cogley



It is not forgetting what has happened and letting the other off the hook.

It is not avoiding confrontation thereby ensuring the same thing will recur again.

It is not making excuses because we only excuse what was not meant.

It is not pretending that we are not angry but it is being bigger than our anger.

It is not condoning behavior that is unacceptable.

It is not reconciliation since that is a choice involving all parties.

It is acknowledging what is and by choosing forgiveness to move on with our lives.


An unfortunate fact of being Irish is that we tend to suffer from two unique forms of Alzheimers. One is called ‘Irish Alzheimers’ where we forget everything except the grudge and the second is ‘Catholic Alzheimers’ where we forget everything except the guilt! Holding onto guilt and unworthiness we almost made into a virtue. Each of these are just different forms of unforgiveness; where one is directed towards others, and the other is directed against myself.