WHY THE RISE IN CO-HABITATION MATTERS MORE THAN WE THINK

By David Quinn, The Iona Institute

Earlier this week we learnt that marriage rates in Ireland have hit a new record low. This trend is being repeated in many countries all over the world. Pope Leo XIV has now called a summit meeting on the global crisis in marriage. It will take place in Rome in October. The presidents of all bishops’ conferences have been invited. He wants them to think about and discuss falling marriage and birth rates in addition to the big increase in cohabitation rates and what, if anything, can be done about that.

The big rise in cohabitation rates in Ireland is something that is almost never discussed. But it matters, and more than people think. For a start, for many people cohabitation is not merely a prelude to marriage, it is a replacement for it. Secondly, cohabiting parents are much more likely to break up than married parents. Marriage is simply irreplaceable as a socially stabilising force. If it declines, it matters. A lot.

Even in relatively recent times, cohabitation was rare in Ireland. According to Census 1996, there were just 31,296 cohabiting couples in the country. By Census 2022, this had sky-rocketed to just under 177,000, an almost six-fold increase.

Almost one in five (17pc) of all couples in Ireland now cohabit. This is still lower than the rate in England and Wales (27pc in 2021), but higher than in America (13pc in 2024).

Couples in their 20s are more likely to be cohabiting than married, so the 17pc is not evenly distributed by age.

A lot of cohabiting couples have children, that is, 78,400 out of the total of 177,000 who are cohabiting.

The British Millennium Cohort Study, which tracks the lives of children born in 2000, shows that parents cohabiting at the child’s birth are roughly three times more likely to separate by the time the child is age 5 than married parents (27pc vs 9pc).

Some people suggest this ‘marriage advantage’ has nothing to do with marriage per se, but more to do with the characteristics of couples who marry. They are more likely to be better educated and have higher incomes, for instance. Nonetheless, cohabitation is never associated with higher benefits for children compared with marriage.

But we see that, in general, married couples are happier in their relationships than cohabiting couples.

In 2019, something called the Global Family and Gender Survey looked at family trends and attitudes in 11 different countries including Ireland where 2,500 people aged 18-50 who were either married or cohabiting were surveyed. This part of the research was funded by The Iona Institute.

It found, for instance, that in the previous 12 months, only 18pc of married couples in Ireland had “serious doubts” about their relationship compared with 34pc of cohabiting couples.

It found that whereas 72pc of married couples say their relationship is the most important thing in their life, only 58pc of cohabiting couples said the same thing.

It also found that 66pc of married couples were “very satisfied” with family life compared with 55pc of cohabiting couples. (We published the findings at the time, and you can find them here).

The Global Family and Gender Survey suggested that one factor explaining the stability premium for family life associated with marriage is a greater sense of commitment. This greater sense of commitment means that married people are more likely to stay together, and this obviously matters greatly from the point of view of children.

In other words, society has an interest in encouraging couples planning to become mothers and fathers, or who are already mothers and fathers, to marry.

Of course, it is easier said than done to persuade cohabiting couples to do this. But one way is to have a culture with strong, pro-marriage norms, one which does not reduce marriage to one more life-style choice, or ‘just a piece of paper’, which is a widespread attitude today.

Marriage matters, and we should hear why more often. The summit called by the Pope will hopefully be a step in that direction.