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Fr Jim Cogley

Healthy relationships are never conflict free but they are conflict resolving. Unfortunately so many fight for victory instead of fighting for solutions. Then if one wins the other has to be the loser and so the relationship suffers. Here are a few insights that might help see how the relationship doesn’t have to lose out:

1) We may have to choose whether we want to be right or be in relationship because if one insists on being right it puts the other in the wrong.

2) Accept differences as inevitable, normal and potentially beneficial. If handled correctly and worked through, a conflict can bring a couple closer together.

3) If you bury your feelings for too long, they will blow up. The harsh words spoken are out of proportion to the issue in hand. Like bullets out of a gun, words spoken in anger can never be taken back but only forgiven.

4) Know that attack begets attack. It causes both sides to dig in and nothing gets resolved.


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